Good

"For the Lord is good and his love endures forever."

You can never really understand strength until you lay weak beneath a barbell stacked with weights that you had to have pulled off your chest because you were unable to lift it.

You can never really understand heat until you have laid freezing cold in a tent in the middle of winter will less than adequate clothing and blankets.

You can never really understand the satisfaction of food until you have gone hungry for days letting nothing touch your mouth but a water bottle.

And you can never really understand the goodness of the Lord until you have experienced the depths of the fallen nature of humanity.

This past week has been surreal. I held the hand of the woman who held mine though life's tough times while it was cold and lifeless. I carried the casket of the woman who carried me for 9 months. I came to a point where I no longer need to offer a prayer for a sick and dying mother.

For the past 15 years my mom battled for life as her body rebelled against it. You see, since the fall of man, so many years ago in Eden, all of creation has been set against the will and purpose of God. The depravity of man is so deep that even the basic units of life that we call cells rebel against God's purpose. 15 years ago, her kidney's refused to be kidneys. Five years ago bone marrow refused to be bone marrow. And last Sunday night as she breathed her last breath, it looked as if fallen, sin-sick humanity had finally taken its course.

As I have looked at and pondered this condition we call life, I think of the wretchedness, the horror of humanity. I came into work this morning for the first time in over a week. Still dealing with the grief of a dead mother, I was already at the point of tears. As I sat in a pastoral staff meeting I heard of a possible miscarriage of a close friend. I sat across from a man who spoke of the declining health of both his parents. And then other mentions the fact that hospice has come in to take care of his father. For about 10 minutes that room was the most depressing place on earth.

Death is never easy. Sickness is never easy. When most people are faced with a situation like my mom lived in for a decade and a half, they question the goodness of God. I questioned the goodness of God. But as I looked at the lifeless image of my mother lying in that casket this week, I couldn't question anymore. I knew in that moment that God was good, is good and will always be good.

The disease of sin came into the world through the conscious decision of one man to rebel against God's plan. From Adam we have all come and with us came sin. Because of that choice of rebellion, a disease...a sickness of sick that is inevitable became our lot. Each one of us has chosen to defy our creator and choose our own will over God's. Jesus is God's goodness. Redemption is God's goodness. The Gospel is God's goodness.

None of us know what it looks like or feels like, but when my mom closed her eyes on this side of eternity, she opened them before the Lord. She is seeing things and experiencing things that we sing songs about. She is living forever, never to experience the curse again. Every cell is lined up with the will of God. The pain is gone. The tears have ceased. At least for her.

For now we sit here on earth, filled with sorrow and grief for the loss of a mother, a wife, a friend, a grammy, a co-worker, a daughter, an aunt, and a neighbor. But even in this grief I have seen the goodness of God. Every tear is cried in hope. Every memory a arrow pointing towards the mystery of eternity. Each day a day closer to the end game.

Though much of this is incoherent ramblings...what I mean to say is this. God is good. Amen